So dear heavens I really stink at this keeping up with things … thing. Life has been super busy this summer and I know I always say that but I promise it’s true! We’re going to attack this entry like an essay and make sure I cover everything.

1.       Revamping Madsen Additions

2.       Change in future directions

3.       Summer of the monkeys… I mean family J

4.       Disney mania!

Thus you have the table of contents. If I was cool I would hyperlink each section so it would take you directly to that text but that might be a bit too nerdy even for me.

REVAMPING MADSEN ADDITIONS

As you all recall, last year around the end of July I wrote a post entitled Madsen Additions. I’m sure half the world who read that thought I was announcing that I was pregnant. Believe me, at the time I really was wishing that was my announcement. Instead, it was the announcement that we had acquired the cutest puppy in the world, who has completely overrun our lives. Oh Chester… dumb dog sleeps pretty much in every position so long as it’s right on top of us but he sure is adorable.

                                  Attention should would                                  
                                            be nice                   <sigh>                    There we go!

And then I’m sure most of you recall my January post. I think that was a post of pure desperation and frustration. Around Christmas, some friends of my in-laws had made a comment while at dinner (meant to be taken in jest) about how they had grandkids because their kids loved them, thus followed by a not so subtle look in Drew and my direction. I was not a happy camper the rest of the evening mostly because I was not very secure will all of these seeming infertility issues. It seemed to be a taboo subject that you don’t bring up and yet you still have to deal with others’ jokes at your expense. Somewhat similar to a LDS single person who has been in the dating field for a while. People like to make jokes that it's that person's fault or that they're doing something wrong. As you can tell I'm somewhat sensitive about this as these are sensitive subjects. And thus I wrote the entry, I didn’t know who knew what was going on and who cared and whether anyone would really give a hoot but none-the-less I wrote it to just get it off my chest.

Things progressed, I went to millions of doctors (not literally but good grief it sure felt like it). By the time April hit and I’d been averaging about 1 appointment per week – cardiology, endocrinology, OB, Fertility, High Risk, etc.. – I had absolutely no problems wearing a hospital gown because meh, it's just another doctor. 

On May 30, I got the freakiest news I had ever received in my entire life (this comparison including being diagnosed with diabetes): I'm pregnant.

Dear heavens you'd think after a year and a half of planning for and thinking about getting pregnant I'd be less freaked out than I was. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am super thrilled. This is totally what we'd been hoping for and planning for for so long but I'm not going to lie, as I was driving home to tell Drew the news I kept thinking "Undo! Undo! Ctrl-Z! I'm not ready for this commitment!" Oh silly me.

So yeah, I"m pregnant. Go figure. I really am excited and I think my fear and apprehension that I've been having is more about me realizing how big of a commitment this is that we've gotten ourselves into and that this is a huge deal and that a lot is going to change and that I'm never going to sleep again. I'm not even kidding with that last thing. I haven't slept through an entire night since finding out I was pregnant because I have to get up every 3 hours and pee. Not cool, bladder, not cool. 

We had our first ultrasound in June when I was 8 weeks along. I was seriously paranoid that I was going to get in there and they'd be like "you're not actually pregnant.." I hardly ever felt nauseous, I'd never thrown up, I felt pretty much no different than pre-pregnancy and any symptoms I was having (slight nausea in the mornings and feeling exhausted around 2 pm) I convinced myself were all in my head. No such thing. They showed us our little cashew (that's what the baby looked like at that point) and let us listen to the heart-beat. Holy. Hannah. That was crazy to hear!!

I see about 3 doctors now with my pregnancy but it's kind of cool that way because it means more ultrasounds and chances to see the baby :) At week 13 we went and saw the perinatologist (the high risk ob) and got to see the baby and hear it's heartbeat again. It was so much higher resolution than the previous ultrasound and the baby was flipping and moving all over the place. The craziest thing was that the baby actually looked like a baby.

It's so crazy to see the baby progress and get more developed. Then, on August 20, the day before our 3rd anniversary, we were able to have the gender check. Insert drum roll here. :)

It's a boy!

Drew I think is ecstatic and I have to say that I am super excited too. Beforehand I kept telling myself I was going to be happy either way and I kept thinking of all of the fun girly outfits I could buy if we had a girl. When they told us it's a boy I had to breathe a huge sigh of relief because I don't know a thing about girls (despite the fact that I am one...) After the appointment we went to Target and kind of went crazy with buying some baby outfits. They were so flippin' cute though!

We had our 20 week appointment a little while ago and according to the OB things are looking great. It's still a boy and the baby is right where he should be in size. It was so awesome to see him again and watching him move around is still super crazy to me. Oh! And I'm finally showing now! See:

Oh, so the official due date is February 6 but the paranatologist said that she doesn't like to have diabetics go beyond 39 weeks because at that point is poses more of a threat to the mother and doesn't benefit the baby that much. So we're kind of planning for the end of January. I'm 22 weeks along right now and it's crazy to think that. The past two weeks I've been able to feel the baby kick and it is so .. different. This morning, I felt some kicks and when i placed my hand on my stomach I actually felt the movement with my hand. CRAZY!!

Anywho, this is a huge post so i think I'm going to break right here and pick up another day for the other items.

E

And then there was 4 months of silence

Wow.. it's a wonder if anyone ever reads this thing considering I haven't written anything for 4 months. Yeah yeah yeah I suck. Sorry about that all y'all.

It's been a crazy couple of months and yet at the same time I couldn't tell you anything really big that happened. Actually, that's a complete lie. Something ginormously big happened: I'M AN AUNT!!!!! Yep, that's right, I am finally an aunt. Look at this little bundle of adorable cuteness:

Lilly Lynn Goodrich was born on May 8 in the morning weighing 8 lbs 4 oz and measuring 19 inches long. She is possibly one of the cutest newborns I've ever seen and I think it may have something to do with her 3 chins as well as her neck chin. She's so squishy and cute and I love and want to keep her :D

Look at this.. how can you not love it.

So yeah, congrats to my brother Ryan and his wife Natalie on the new addition.

Other than that, not much has happened. Drew successfully finished his first semester back at school. It was a lot different than he thought it would be but I think he's really happy to be back on a path to somewhere. I'm quite glad we're back. I seriously LOVE my job. Sure it's stressful some days and sure some days feel like they drag but overall I really really like it. The only down side is that I work with a bunch of old people so it's starting to make me feel like an old soul (aka: boring). I get along with everyone and at work i feel like I am definitely my age but then I come home and realize that I am seriously a stick in the mud.

I've gotten on a crafty rampage over the past few months and that has been amazing. My first project was redoing a nightstand that I bought for $20 from DI. I am in love with this green color; it was awesome that I just found the can of paint there in the garage too.

The next project was revamping the room just off of the bedroom. It was jam packed full of furniture pieces and it was basically just a cluttered mess. With James coming to live with us I had to move my sewing stuff out of the guest bedroom and I decided to clean out this space off of the bedroom. It looks so good now and is my new craft room. LOVE IT.

After I got my craft room set up, I had to do some crafty things so I made this baby cap via crochet and then I made a baby dress for Lilly. I had no idea how big to make the dress so I'm afriad it fits a little bit tight but I thought it looked pretty cute. Especially for something made from old scraps.

So I have seen more doctors in the past 3 months than I would care to count. The doctors decided they wanted to just attack this whole thing and figure out where I'm at health wise. I've had an EKG, an ecocardiogram, some sort of x-ray thingy, and more blood drawn than I knew was in the body. Annoyingly enough, i'm healthy. So yeah, i'm trying to decrease my stress and work out more often though this week has not been the best for either of those things. There's a half marathon in August that I really want to run in but I"m not sure if I'm going to be up to that distance by then. Here's hoping I can pull off a miracle :P

On a final note, I want to give a shout-out to my amazing friend Samantha Mello. She messaged me a couple of weeks ago and asked that I include something in my blog about a cause that is near and dear to her heart and to everyone who knows her. Samantha and two of her sisters have cystic fibrosis, an illness affecting the lungs. Essentially, an excess of mucus covers the lungs and makes breathing difficult. Even though this is a deadly disease, the entire time I have know Sam she has always been such a bright ray of happiness and love. She is always cheerful and is quick to make those around her smile. I've always looked up to her so much for all that she is and all that she is trying to becoming. Sam let me know, however, that her oldest sister is currently awaiting a double-lung transplant in Seattle. To show support for her sister and to try to make a difference, Sam is participating in the Great Strides Walk in Boise, ID - a fundraising event aiming to help raise enough money to find a cure for the disease. I hate asking for money but this is truly a worthy cause. If you are able to either give a few dollars or even participate that would be an incredible thing. Like I said, Samantha is an amazing person I would do anything for her. I know some of you don't know her but even then this walk is showing supports for hundreds affected by CF. You can donate at the following site. Sam - our thoughts and prayers are with your sister. I hope everything goes well for her!!

http://www.cff.org/great_strides/FundRaisingSummary/?walkID=7976

E

January Part 2

As promised, here is post #2 for the weekend. This is a record: even though I usually have enough stuff to write about I try to keep myself to one post a month. Sorry, you're stuck reading two posts from one weekend.. actually, I'm not really sorry. No one is forcing you to read this ;)

Well, as I mentioned we're still settling here in Utah. Things were really crazy the first few weeks back. We made ourselves at home as best we could and then did random chores that go along with moving cross country and tossing half of your stuff. I hate spending money and whoa buddy did we have to spend money. Oh well, it's over and done with now so whatever.

Drew started classes and is really liking being back. It keeps him busy but it's encouraging to know that we're at least making progress towards our future plans. He has his first test this next week so he's somewhat nervous about that but I think my genius husband will do great :)

I started work with the SLC PwC office and after my second day on the job I got a job offer from the company I had worked for here in Utah previously (Imagine Learning). It was a really good offer and promised so many perks: 40 hour work weeks (not the 60 I was doing with PwC), good benefits, great coworkers, 10 minute drive to and from work, and doing something where I felt like I was actually making a difference in someone's life. The company makes language-learning software specifically geared towards teaching children English. So, those kids who's first language is not English and who struggle in school because they can't speak the language are the key focus. They also focus on struggling readers and those with learning disabilities. It really is a great product and I love what i'm doing. There was a lot of drama involved with me quitting PwC and it was rather stressful but now that I'm started with IL it seems so natural and easy. It was totally worth all of the drama.

I'm especially glad to have this new job because it provides the insurance and income that we need but not the stress. I know I've only been there for 2 weeks now but I really feel like this will be completely different from what it was like in DC doing audit. There's no threat of audit rotations (meaning 65 - 70 hour work weeks doing stuff that I don't even begin to comprehend) and my manager with IL said he doesn't anticipate that I'll have to work overtime more than once a year. That's definitely something I need. I don't want to count on the lessened stress to magically solve the health issues we were having before but I don't think it'll hurt. The next few months of doctor appointments and the like will let us know if the lessened stress has any impact.

One negative thing of the move is that it feels like we're starting back at square 1 with everything. Oh well, I got an appointment set up at the Utah Fertility Clinic for mid-February so it's better than nothing I guess. A few people already know what's going on but we've decided that the more people who know means more prayers for us and hopefully more sensitivity as well. As a result: welcome to the 30 second intro of please-don't-pity-us-but-if-you-need-a-reason-to-here-you-go. It probably won't be 30 seconds but oh well.. you can stop reading whenever you want!

Moral of this story is that 14 months of "trying" has yielded the same results as 15 months of birth control: Drew and me and that's about it. We decided back in November 2010 that we were ready for kids and I had my heart set on telling our families for Christmas that they were going to have a grandkid. Instead, December came and went and my excitement quickly turned more towards frustration. By June we decided to go see a OBGYN to see what was happening. I'm just going to say now that kids had better be worth it because I am not a fan of OBGYNs. We saw the OBGYN for 3 months and he got me on some medicine to make me ovulate. The medicine works for some people (as I found out.. one of my friends informed me last month she's pregnant after taking the meds) but unfortunately I am not one of those people.

It was around this time that I hit a seriously low. I don't think I've ever questioned God's plan before but July was a rough month for me. Everyone I knew was getting pregnant - thus why I've started steering away from Facebook: I don't want to be comparing myself to all of my friends who are having their second kid or people who have been married less time than Drew and me who are popping out kids now. Every month since I started seeing the doctor resulted in me getting my hopes up only to then get angry when things did not turn out like I had hoped. I felt like a failure as a woman: we're taught "survival of the fittest" as well as "multiply and replenish". By both of these standards I was failing and I didn't understand what we had done to deserve this. Thus the purchase of Chester: I had pent up "mothering" feelings and a puppy was just the way to release those. I feel somewhat pathetic that I really do consider him to be my child but he's helped both Drew and I to get through the past few months and I really think he's helping us to prepare for when we finally are able to have kids.

Around September my endocrinologist (my diabetes doctor) told me that I really should be seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist instead of a regular OBGYN. We found one close to where we lived and started seeing them in October. October yielded more medicine and tests and the like and finally in November they decided that the next step was to try IUI (inter-uterine insemination) which is the next step up from the meds and one step down from invetro. I was so excited after the IUI in November because I thought it would actually happen this time and just in time to tell people for Christmas THIS year that we were pregnant. Still nothing. December came and the stress of the move was excruciatingly high so I knew the IUI that month wouldn't work either. We tried it yet again though and as I expected, a week before Christmas I got the gift I was dreading.

I'm not telling this story to get attention but I want people to understand and hopefully keep us in your prayers. We felt the timing was right 14 months ago for a purpose: it has given us the time to go through all of the doctor appointments and tests and we have the insurance to cover this and we're still young. I am so grateful for the jobs that I've had that they've provided the income and insurance to facilitate all of this. Heaven knows how much money we've spent on all of this: well over $1300 thus far and that's not including what insurance has covered. Thus why with this new job I'm hoping the decreased stress will help everything. It was a battle for me in DC because I felt like we couldn't be doing all of the doctor appointments and tests if it weren't for my job but because of my job and the stress involved with it my body was rejecting everything we were doing. It was a catch 22 of sorts so we'll see if that was actually true now I'm working elsewhere. I'm hopeful now and I am beginning to finally grasp that all things are in His hands and this is not happening as a punishment (I'm somewhat retarded, I usually beat my head against the brick wall for a while before I finally come around to what Heavenly Father wants me to learn). We are learning from this and we are growing. We'll appreciate our child so much more when we finally get him/her, whether it's through finally getting pregnant or else through adoption.

So, if you made it through this mondo post thank you. It means you care about us and we owe so much to you; whomever you are I know that you have had an impact on our lives for the good at some point and for that I am grateful. I promise the next post will have pictures of the house though I kind of want to wait until I have the piano here but we'll see when that happens :P

Love,
A and E

New Beginnings

I feel like things keep changing drastically in life thus causing me to write gi-normously long blog posts. Cause I can guarantee now that this post will be huge. Therefore, oh ye weak of reading endurance, be warned. :P

First thing first: holy changes of getting to Utah. The move went well, we got all of our stuff in the trailer and successfully cross-countried it. Some stuff ended up with dings and scratches due to the lack of furniture pads that the Uhaul people suffered from but all in all we made it. The trip seemed like it took for-ever! Day 1 was DC to Jackson, TN. This ride took us about 14 hours (we quickly found out that the trailer was going to definitely hurt our speed and gas mileage).

                                                                                    *You can tell we truely are in the south...  

Jackson scared us just a bit.. maybe it was just the area we were in but the Waffle House that we graced was somewhat questionable in their food handling standards and then the area around the hotel caused us to pray that our stuff would remain in our car. Literally. We prayed that. It might be sacrilegious or something but hey, it worked so I'm not going to make a big deal out of it. 

Next we ventured to Amarillo, TX which took forever and 12 years. Actually it took 16 hours but that's almost the same thing. Amarillo wasn't bad. We were so exhausted when we got there that it could have been Slumsville and we wouldn't have cared. 

                                 Arkansas took a while to get through             But not as long as Oklahoma

                                  At least one thing about Oklahoma         And I promise this says "Welcome to Texas"
                                                                  was it's pretty                                      even though you can't see it

Then we ventured through New Mexico and stopped in Monticello, UT. First of all, there's a temple in Monticello, UT? I mean, seriously?? That's great but holy tiny-place. You learn new things every day I guess. We wanted to stop somewhere since the last day, if we went from Amarillo straight through to Orem, was suppose to take 15 hours according to Google which would translate to 18 hours trailer-driving time. 

                                                 Oh Mountains how I missed you.....

                                 I thought the reflection was cool :)                    

                                                                                 
                                                                 Obviously I liked this sunset :)

Welcome to Utah                                 The same sunset                   

I’ll post pictures of how we’ve decorated the place later. For now, here’s the gorgeous view of the sunset from the top of the staircase and from one of the extra bedrooms (through the window screen.. it looked something like a Monet and I thought it was cool). Enoy!!

Since this is such a huge post with pictures and there’s still more to write, I’m going to make this end of post #1 and fill in more tomorrow. Enjoy!

E